Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Childlike faith.

Me and my babies went out of town.

It was nice being away.
Especially this week.
Being out of a normal routine was good.

I wasn't all there.
I drifted from conversations.
I would find myself telling me to concentrate.
Telling myself...willing myself not to cry.

But I did.
Well because I just miss her.

Many days I feel so lonely.
It's hard to explain.
It doesn't matter how many conversations I have.
Or how many people I am surrounded by.
It's just not her.
And there are some days...
I am just a little girl who needs her mommy.

I'll leave you with a little conversation that I had with my little girl.
Sometimes I share these conversations in this little space because I want to remember them.
Not this time.
This conversation will forever be engraved in my heart.

I was crying in the shower.  It had been a day that the memories of her final week rested so heavy on my heart.  And well, for me, the shower is a safe place to let it go.  SweetLove walked in and our conversation went like this:

Momma, can you not breath?
I'm ok Love.
Momma, are you crying...why are you crying?
Yes hun, momma is just sad.  I am missing mamaw Debbie a lot today.
But momma, mamaw Debbie is alive so you shouldn't be sad.
Because if we love Jesus in our hearts we don't die we just go to live with him.  So there is really no reason for you to cry because we will see her again.  And momma,
Yea (tears streaming down my face)
When we see her again, she will not have any more boo boo's and we can hug her really hard and sit on her lap and it won't hurt her anymore.  That will be fun...won't it momma?

There is really nothing quite like childlike faith.

Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”  Luke 18:17

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