Tuesday, November 8, 2011


it is the day K will be activated.

I am excited, but not really anxious about it.
In the last two months I have learned the importance of His timing.
I am enjoying these days of few appointments...
because I know again in only a few short weeks our life will be hectic again.

Our little guy has done extremely well post-surgery.
We seriously could not be happier.
I thought maybe these few weeks between the surgery and his activation would seem different for him.
But, he has been responding the same.
We even got some "unexplainable" results from a hearing test performed last week.
I'm talking "it would have to be a miracle" type of results.

that is what he is to us.
A little miracle that has managed to surprise everyone and capture the hearts of so many.
I have learned so much from such a young fella!

You wonder how a two year old can teach patience.
But he has.
I wish I could give you guys a glimpse into his world as of these past two months.
All of the nurses and physicians that we have come in contact with.
They are amazed.
They all manage to take a few seconds and just stare at him.
I watch them.
And I know what they are looking for.
And if I am being honest...
I can't put my finger on it either.
He is just remarkable.

Last week his cardiologist just paused.
Finally, after about a minute went by she said...
"He's an old soul.  What a special little boy!"

He is signing so well.
They tell me I need to stop signing with him when he gets activated.
I won't.
Because when they tell me this...
and when I try to convince myself it is the best thing for him at this time...
my heart changes.
I start feeling uneasy and angry about the situation.

There are so many opinions on this journey.
I recently watched a documentary on PBS entitled
Through Deaf Eyes
I learned a lot about the history of the deaf culture.
A lot on both sides of the debate...

audio verbal vs. signing
cochlear vs. no cochlear

A few deaf individuals being interviewed made a comment that has stuck in my head...
"everyone is always trying to fix us.  We are not broke, we just can't hear."

I love that these individuals are happy and successful.
I definitely respect their opinions, because quite frankly I am not deaf.
I do not understand "not hearing".
So when I see their hands moving a hundred miles an hour...
the smiles on their faces...
and hear what all the signs mean, I get so excited for our little guy.

But, there is another perspective.
Maybe parents of deaf children are not trying to fix their kids.
I do not believe our littleLover is broke.
I don't believe by any means that the addition of technology means he is not deaf.
He is deaf.
I would have never made the decision to follow through with the implant until I knew in the depths of my heart I was 100% at peace with him never hearing.

I am glad that I have made it to a point in this journey that I am not listening to opinions of others.
That I am doing what I believe is the best for my son.

And if you could see him sign his prayers before we eat and before he goes to bed...
well, you would know why I feel this way.
It's a beautiful language...
it will always be his language and I will NOT take that away from him!

He has managed to surprise many...

One day I will get a call from a parent or God will place them in my path...
and I will be able to tell them to pray.
Trust what God is telling them to do.
Value and respect the opinions of others who are in the process with you,
but know that there is not just two ways to walk this journey.
You will know when you find peace.

John 14:27
I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world can not give.  So do not be troubled or afraid. (NLT)


  1. Reading this made me feel a sense of peace. Everything you wrote was so well said and made me happy for your family that they have one tough mama taking such good care of them.

  2. So happy for you all! We loved that documentary! Can't wait to hear how the activation goes...